Holding onto situations and stories that we tell ourselves and others to highlight how wronged we’ve been is a good way to ensure that we make ourselves sick. Recognizing wrongs and pointing them out to the perpetrators is not always easy. If we stand up and show the damage and the error it may simply be ignored or perhaps even denied. What do we do about that? What the hell can we do about that? Often times we can simply do nothing at all. So we tell our story to ourselves over and over again and we look at the harm that has been done and seethe and grow angry in our own little room between our ears. The perpetrators are no longer even there. It is only ourselves, telling stories and gnashing our teeth, making ourselves sick all over again.

How can we step to the left and simply just let it go by? Maybe the step is one up, to higher ground where we are out of the muck and the mud. At work, in our families, with our friends, we must choose to accept what cannot be affected and find a way to move forward or around or through it by refusing to replay and rehash and remember. The power we give to others is our own. We fuel them with our anger and grief. They do not thank you. Does that make a difference? What does a thank you even bring you? Why are you doing it at all? The job needs to be done, and why are you not the one to do it?

And so is this all talk and words without specifics? Look at your life and find the match. What did someone else do that you still need to talk about? How helpful is it to chew on the bitterness after the fact? Did you have to work longer hours than others who were taking their vacations after months of time off at home despite the fact that you yourself were working all along? Did you mind it then when you understood you were contributing and financially stable? Why are you angry now? Is it because they see you still taking their work and moving it forward? Well, isn’t that your job?

Today the world is so unfair! The fact of the matter is that it always has been and always will be. Get out of your own way; do your job to the best of your abilities; forget the thank yous and the expression of their gratitude. The prize is your own self respect. The true goal is your own sense of contribution and accomplishment. Make yourself joyous by choosing to do what is right. If you work longer and harder than someone else and they choose to leave their team lacking to enjoy their vacation in the sun despite it all, are they truly a winner?

Smile in your head and your heart and know that the people who think they are breaking your back and winning really are. In some respects. That’s okay. Life may not be fair but Karma is. Or if you don’t believe in that scene then perhaps you hang your faith on something else. Sometimes it just takes some time. Carry on. Sleep well when you can, Work hard when you must. Relax and know the moments that bring joy and contentment. Let go of the hope that it will all even out. Let’s stop making ourselves sick on the sickness of others and move on.

What bitterness are you chewing on and can you spit it out and move on?